Thursday, June 3, 2010

Well Isn't That Nice :: The Nurse

It starts with an F, and it's Friday, but it ain't your regular Follow Friday
(but you can play along anyway.)

I took Ladybug to the urgent care a while back. She had a weird bump on the back of her neck. I'm not a paranoid mom. Actually, I'm pretty laid back when it comes to health stuff. But I spend so much time consciously neglecting my girl, that when this thing popped up...well, let's just say I put myself on a helluva guilt trip. But my Mother's intuition was really nagging at me over this bump, so I decided to take the girlie in to see a doctor.

Now if you read my blog (and of course you do...religiously) you probably know (or have figured out) that I'm old as dirt no spring chicken a 'mature mom'. OK, true confessions, I'm 46. Buddy Boy is 5, Ladybug is 3. I know what you're thinking now.... Daaaaaaaannng! She's OLD. Yeah, whatever. I may have been born before God, but I consider myself remarkably immature I'm as hip as they come. And frankly, up until the 2nd kiddo, I was looking pretty damn good for my age. Actually, it's not that I'm looking bad for my age these days, it's just that I've moved back to Texas where everybody has their kids when they're in their 20s. In the Silicon Valley, where I lived when I bred my replacements, the average age of the 1st-time mother is 35. I had plenty of company on the geriatric maternity ward.

So...back to the urgent care. I'm sitting in an exam room with my daughter. A not-so-gracefully pregnant nurse waddles in:

Nurse: So, what are we seeing this little lady for today?

Me: She's got a strange bump on the back of her neck.

Nurse: OK, Ma'am. Now, is she your granddaughter or your daughter?

Me: *blink* *blink*

All the way home I was kicking myself for not saying, "Hmmm...are you pregnant or just FAT?"

Yes, I missed out on the perfect opportunity for the ultimate rude response to the cruelest question I've ever been asked. Well, sweetie, this finger's flower's for you!

So what's this all about?  If you missed the original post, check it out here.

Well isn't that nice!

This weekly post is brought to you by rude people everywhere. Is there someone you’d like to send a flower to today? Or maybe you'd just like to flip someone the bird in a genteel way. By all means DO SO. Just swipe my button up there and include it in your post. Then come back here and link up, of course. 

G’head. Grab it! You know you want to.


Sara said...

I got asked if I was pregnant once- I wasn't- and it was awful. However, in the situation, you were TOTALLY justified!!!

Alyssa S. said...

Dude in no way look like those kids' grandmother. I know this first hand. You barely even look 40. Maybe it's because everyone here in Texas starts breeding as soon as they have their first period and 35 year old grandmas are a dime a dozen, but SERIOUSLY. You live in the Metroplex for god's of urban progress. I would have skipped the snide comment and just lunged for a scalpel, plunged it in her foot and said "tell that one to YOUR grandmother".

Think of it this way...we are "vintage" :)

T@PoppyPlacePdx said...

Hey D, you crack me up all the time. :)

I'd have to give it too the receptionist that made me wait while she pandered to a snooty woman she obviously thought was more important that me!

Thanks, have a wonderful weekend, T. :)

Anonymous said...

Yowza, can I flip that nurse off too?

Vanessa said...

Holy crap! Seriously?

You know, my BFF is 45, and our girls are the same age, and she's incredibly hip too. Maybe you should move here. ;-)