Wednesday, June 16, 2010

I'm No MILF (But I Wanna Be)

OK. We’ve pretty much established that I’m old. Yeah yeah yeah, 46 – make me say it over and over again, why don’t ya. And I’ve got some pretty young kiddos for my age. Buddy Boy’s 5, Ladybug’s 3. And really, all things considered, I think I’m looking OK. BUT…I ain’t no MILF. I probably never will be. I mean that train left the station about a decade ago. But a girl’s gotta have her dreams, right?

So, my friend Alyssa over at Aly Gatr’s Everywhere declared she was going to do a little shape up thing on her blog, and I’ve decided to jump aboard. I leave for vacation in four weeks. I’m going on a cruise with ALL my in laws. Oh yeah! Shoot me now! Lucky me! I can’t wait! Fun! Fun! FUN! Anyway, I figure four weeks is a perfect amount of time to trim a little fat. Here’s my plan for week 1:

1st – I’m going to get more sleep. You know, sleep deprivation gives you the munchies. Seriously. The munchies aren’t just for pot-heads anymore. Scientific studies have proven it.

2nd – I’m going to drink more water, because dehydration also gives you the munchies.  Again, science is backing me up here.

3rd – I’m going to take a multivitamin every day, because vitamins DON’T give you the munchies. AND hopefully they’ll give me a little bit of an energy boost. Because let’s face it, if I’m gonna be a MILF, I’m gonna need some energy to fight off all those teenage boys. OK, I've got no studies to cite here, but it sounds good to me.

That’s it. Week one in a nutshell. You’re probably thinking my plan is stupid. But all y'all out there who have a couple lbs to lose are probably hoping like hell this works, because sleeping, drinking and swallowing pills sounds a lot more doable than hitting the gym, keeping a food journal and giving up junk food.

Up next week:  Hitting the gym, keeping a food journal & giving up junk food...maybe.

Well?  How 'bout it?  Got a pound or two you'd like to get rid of?  You can find a little bloggy support right here:

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7 comments:

AlyGatr said...

OK, to steal a line from "The Truth About Cats and Dogs"... said from Uma Thurman to Jeannine Garofalo, "I'd f*@! ya" and that's because I totally disagree on your MILF status. Just sayin.

Water...that dratted water. Does getting a gallon of it up my nose at the pool count as water consumption? I have to remind myself to drink, drink, drink.

Oh and BTW, I hear what you're saying about the eventual muscle weight gain. It's happened before, so I'm just riding the afterglow of the loss for now! I'll pull out the measuring tape today so I can start tracking my measurements too, especially for those weeks where I don't lose.

And of course...YAY for playing along with me (I was going to say playing with me, but after my first comment, it might not have sounded quite right!)

Lauren said...

haha I love everything you just typed. I have similar ambitions but since I don't have any ankle-biters running around I always just say I aspire to be a Cougar some day. Of course at 26 I've got to wait a while til I'm old enough to be a cougar, but then WATCH OUT!

R Montalban said...

Not sure I would want to be a MILF - my boy is only 8 and I would be seriously worried!!!

I think you look just fine, and with the right lippy and gladrags on I am sure you will have the power of Kapow!!!

cathyjoy said...

wouldn't bein a milf be the greatest?? btw...i think you look great!

Much More Than Mommy said...

You go girl! (Like Monica on Friends, I'm not sure I can pull that off...) I *still* need to work on the water thing, it's the most difficult part of maintaining my weight for me!

T @ Poppy Place said...

D, you look awesome!! I am totally jealous and be thankful everything is still in its required place (as in my boobs are in a competition to see who can get to the ground first :)

Wishing you well, so you can kick some cruise ass :) T.

Double Wide Mom said...

you look great and you have my support. Now I gotta find something to munch!