Friday, May 28, 2010

Well Isn't That Nice (It starts with an F, and it's Friday, but it ain't 'Follow Friday' - but you can play along)

Oh friend. My dear, dear friend. You know the hours of research…the calculations…the consultations…the blood, sweat & tears I put into every one of my products. I don’t insist that you use them. Even though your own kids swear they work better than your remedies. I don’t preach to you about the merits of doing things the natural way. So please…PLEASE! When someone is interested in my modest little concoctions, don’t butt in and say things like, “Oh! Try shaving cream! Shaving cream works just as well!”

I love ya honey, but this is for you!

So what's this all about?  If you missed last week's post, check it out here.

So, is there someone you’d like to send a flower to today? Or maybe you'd just like to flip someone the bird. Well, now you can do both! I'll be celebrating brazen acts of passive aggression right here for the next few Fridays – or maybe longer. We’ll see.
Well isn't that nice!

G’head. Grab it! You know you want to.  So do it!  And don't forget to leave your link.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Coming Through In The End (my Things Bug Me giveaway)

So, anyone wondering what ever became of my giveaway? You know, the one where you got to tell me what was bugging you? Yeah, well, I got busy and lost track of time. Get over it, already. I haven’t and I’ve been using it as an excuse to beat myself to a bloody pulp daily for the last couple of weeks. I have. I’m totally over it.

It’s my bad, really…for setting up a giveaway that was just to elaborate to carry through. That’s pretty much the story of my life. But in the end, I usually come through. And to make up for the facts that I didn’t do the whole people’s choice thing, and that I’m so late with announcing the winners and all, and that my random number generated insisted on spitting out 4 winners…well, I’ve added a 3rd runner up.

What’s up with the random number generator?! Well…you know me, I’ve just gotta be complicated elaborate super-mommy different about it:

First I numbered all the entries...

Then I loaded them all into the random number generator...

I flipped the switch...

And it spit out four winners.

See?  Four!

So. There you have it.

1 prize goes to:
Christina Silverio who was really beating herself up for not being able to keep up with the house work. I get it, sistah. I really do.

2nd prize goes to:
ByHandGiveaways who was beating herself up about not feeling good enough for her boyfriend’s family. To which I say, Honey, you only need to feel good enough for yourself. Do what I did – marry the guy and then move thousands of miles away from his family. Let ‘em know who has the power, girl!

3rd prize goes to:
Jakell who really needed to beat her X up who was having a crappy week with ex-husband problems and unemployment problems and sidewalk chalk problems.

And the Bonus prize goes to:
Linda Kish who was not having fun taking care of her daughter-in-laws pets.

There you have it. The results. I’ll try not to be so delinquent next time. I might succeed, I might not. But I promise I’ll come through in the end. Really.

Oh, and don't forget to join the Well Isn't That Nice fun tomorrow.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Happiness Project :: Graduation

What could possibly be more joyful than a good old fashioned cap toss? To all those kids moving on...

Happy Graduation!

(It makes me a little sad too.  Please tell me how to slow, or better, freeze time...just for bit.)

Of course this post was brought to you by Leigh vs. Laundry and her fantastic Happiness Project.  Go check it out.  Then tell us all what makes you happy.


Friday, May 21, 2010

Well Isn't That Nice (It starts with an F, and it's Friday, but it ain't 'Follow Friday' - but you can play along)

Buddy Boy goes to two different schools for pre-k. (A long boring story that I promise not to share with you.) T/TH he’s at the Happiest Place on Earth – Infinite Bounds. M/W/F he goes to The Other School – which will remain nameless. I’m not a big fan of The Other School. Buddy Boy loves it, but I don’t find it a very warm and welcoming place. We’ve been going there for a whole school year now, and out of the 9 kids in Buddy Boy’s class, only 2 of the Other Mothers actually speak to me. Until Monday.

It was Texas-hot outside, so of course, the kiddos insisted that I pick them up in the convertible. By the time I got to The Other School to retrieve Buddy Boy…well…I was swimming in sweat. Oh yeah, we’re talking sweat marks on my backside. I walked into school, a little embarrassed – but not too much. You know, on account of the fact that nobody there talks to me. Well, here’s what transpired:

Other Mother (who has not so much as smiled in my direction in the last 9 months), “Hi! How are you?”

Me (quickly glancing over my shoulder to verify that Other Mothers is indeed addressing me), “Whew! Hot!”

Other Mother (before I even get a chance to recover from the shock of being spoken to), “I’m Fine. (pause for effect) Thanks for asking.”

*blink* *blink*

~* Language Alert *~

You know, shortly after moving to Texas for the 1st time, one of my new friends asked me if I knew how a Texan Lady says “Fuck You”. The answer? ”Well isn’t that nice.” Said with a charming smile, of course.

Well Other Mother…this is for you:

So, is there someone you’d like to send a flower to today? Or maybe you'd just like to flip someone the bird. Well, now you can do both! I'll be celebrating brazen acts of passive aggression right here for the next few Fridays – or maybe longer. We’ll see.
Well isn't that nice!

G’head. Grab it! You know you want to.  So do it!  And don't forget to leave your link.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Happiness Project :: Ms. Josie's Money Chain

Late last week, I put out a call for help for one Buddy Boy's teachers at Infinite Bounds.  Within 72 hours, I was drowning in cash.  With plenty of eager help from lots of little hands, we assembled this money chain.  We're going to present it to Ms. Josie at the Graduation Ceremony tonight.  I can't wait to see the look on her face!  I'm so moved by the generosity of everyone who participated.  It's going to make Ms. Josie incredibly happy.  And that makes me incredibly happy.

What makes you happy? 
Jump on the happy train over at Leigh Vs. Laundry.


Monday, May 17, 2010

The Error of My Ways

Like I needed more hair to comb!

Ladybug completed a line on her sticker chart today.  Which meant she got a 'special prize'.  She's been begging for a My Little Pony with a brush.  Now she insists I style its hair.  Isn't that her job?  I guess I'll add that to next month's sticker chart.  And maybe as the 'special prize' for completing the item, she'll get a pair of scissors.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Teacher Appreciation :: Ms. Josie's Gift

This is Buddy Boy’s last year at Infinite Bounds. People say that Disney’s the “happiest place on earth”. Those people have never been to Infinite Bounds. IB is where my kiddos go to “school” a couple days a week so I can desperately cling to the little bit of sanity that I have left I can plan gourmet meals and keep my home immaculately clean. IB rocks! It isn’t swanky or nicely decorated. As a matter of fact, it’s a little run down – and not in that shabby-chic kinda way. More like in that rode-hard-and-put-away-wet kinda way. But that’s OK, because every inch of frayed carpet, every knick in the walls tells a story of pure, unadulterated joy. (Oh, and I should say that this is NOT the school that threw their own ridiculous teacher appreciation week-long party that I was complaining about last month.)

IB is actually a gymnastics training center. All day long, young gymnasts flip, balance, spin and fly until they get it just right. That all happens in the gym. Around the perimeter of the gym are small classrooms for little kiddos. They learn their colors & ABC’s. They sing songs and get all messy with shaving cream finger painting. And when it’s time to work those wiggles out, they head into the gym and go crazy.

The best part about IB is the staff. Buddy Boy’s been going there for almost 3 years now, and in that time, I’ve never seen the staff with anything but shit-eating grins on their faces. They’re all just so stinkin’ happy that you’re there. Every child and every parent is greeted by name…every time. They ask you how your weekend was. They tell you you look pretty today (when you know you stink and you’re running on 3 hours of sleep). They love you, and they absolutely adore your child. Your child is the greatest kid they’ve ever met. And while it sounds like a load of crap, it’s not. They really mean this. Really. It’s crazy how friendly and loving everybody is.

Next week, he’ll graduate from the Happiest Place on Earth. His teacher, Ms. Josie has it all worked out and it’s going to be great. (I’m sure I’ll spend the whole ceremony hiding behind my camera so no one will see me bawling like a baby.) In the fall, Buddy Boy will start real school where all the joy and creativity will be systematically sucked from his soul. But in the meantime, he still has a few precious days left in this incredible environment. I recently learned that Ms. Josie is struggling to make ends meet, and this broke my heart not just a little. So o I decided to do a little fund raiser for her. I’m having the kiddos make a paperchain out of the money we collect. The kids are having a blast keeping the secret and making the chain. We’re going to put it in a huge box and present it to her at graduation. I also want to make a big card to go along with it. But oddly, I find myself at a loss for words. So, I’m turning to all you creative writers out there. Come up with something for me. Please. Something about how early care providers are an important link in the chain of a child’s life. Something that will connect the links in the money chain to how fondly we all feel towards Ms. Josie. So any great ideas for me? Any catchy little phrases or isms? I’m open to suggestions.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The Happiness Project :: Texas Wildflowers

Lady Bird Johnson :: photo by Frank Wolfe

Look at that face!  Don't you just love that little smirk of disgust?  One look at her and you know she's suffering fools as kindly as she can.  This is the look I get on my face when people ask me why on earth I moved back to Texas.  My friends & family don't understand the soft spot in my heart for Texas.  Probably because they've spent their lives in areas considered beautiful.  The lush rolling hills of the Mid-Atlantic.  The rugged outdoors and amazing weather of Northern California.  The Eastern Shore.  The West Coast.  It's easy to call those places beautiful.  What my peeps don't understand is that to really see beauty, you have to first experience extreme ugliness.  The monotonous concrete blond winters of the levelands.  The searing pain of black leather seats on the back of your bare thighs in August.  This is the stuff that really helps you appreciate the simplist of beauties - like wildflowers...and air conditioning.

We just got back from a Texas road trip.  We drove from Dallas to Galveston to spend a long weekend at perhaps the most unappealing beach I've ever seen.  The water's brown and muddy, the sand's sticky like clay, and the wind never stops blowing.  But the drive was incredible - thanks to Lady Bird Johnson and her wildflower efforts.  Ten total hours on roads as flat as a table top...with nothing to look at but this as far as the eye can see. 

Thank you, Lady Bird - and to all the people who continue to keep her dream alive. Your wildflowers make me incredibly happy.  What makes you happy?  Join the party.


Thursday, May 6, 2010

Good Stuff :: Local Honey

Well, The Man's sick of hearing me go on and on about how much I love honey. That means you get to sit there and nod politely until I'm done. Sure, you could just click over to the next blog on your reader list, but then you wouldn't benefit from my wit and wisdom.

I've always loved honey. Probably due to an inexplicable early childhood hatred of jelly. Yeah, I was that kid. The weird cool one with the peanut butter & honey sandwich. I was a total social outcast so cool. Everyone wanted to be me. OK, so maybe that's not true. But come allergy season, there are plenty of people who wish they were me - you know, because I'm so smart and funny and incredibly easy on the eyes. Or maybe it's because I don't have allergies. Unfortunately, my Buddy Boy does.

This breaks my heart, and not just a little. I don't have to have allergies to know that they suck. But the upside of the diagnosis is that it supports my local honey habit. And by 'local honey', I do not mean running down the street to the closest grocery store to get you some Sue Bee clover honey. Local honey is made by bees collecting nectar and pollen from a wide variety of plants in your geograhpic area. It is raw and will probably crystalize if left in your pantry too long. (Which is OK, you know. You can still use it. Just warm it up a bit and it will liquify again.) You can usually find local honey in your regular grocery store. If you can't, you can defintiely find it at a Wholefoods, Sprouts, or any gourmet grocer.

So. What does this have to do with allergies, you ask? Well, funny you should ask! Everything, that's what. Everytime you consume local honey, it's like you're giving yourself an allergy shot. Only it hurts less and tastes a lot better. Now don't start thinking that eating honey is going to help with your cat allergies or your husband's lactose intollerance. Sorry. It wont. What it will do is help you build an immunity to the plants in your area. Every golden drop contains pollen from the plants that cause the problems. A daily dose of honey allows those pollens to get into your system in very low levels. This allows your body to develop antibodies. It's the same principle as taking allergy shots.

And now for the words of caution. We all know that giving honey to babies carries a risk - so don't do that. And, if you're prone to severe allergic reactions - you know, the oh-my-GOD-I-can't-breath-get-me-to-a-hospital-NOW kind of reaction - and you've never eaten local honey before, you might want to start with small quantities. But barring any of that craziness, I'm encouraging you to give it a try. It costs a little more, but it supports your local beekeepers and it could help you with those itchy eyes and runny noses. And besides, it's just plain yummy - especially with peanut butter. It's good stuff.

Friday Follow

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The Happiness Project :: A Double Rainbow

It was pretty stormy around here yesterday – inside and out. We have houseguests, including a 6yo and another 3yo. Yesterday afternoon, I was out number 4 to 1. Kids were screaming and burping and chasing the cats and spilling stuff all over the floors and calling each other “baby-head” (and just WHY is this funny?), and fighting and getting in each other’s way. I totally lost it, hit the sauce and spent the rest of the evening in a drunken stupor. I remained calm, cool and collected through the whole adventure…until dinner time when Buddy Boy announced he wasn’t going to eat any meatloaf because it was “scary looking”.

OK, it wasn’t a pretty meatloaf. I don’t like to make pretty food for my company…I don’t like to intimidate friends with my culinary superiority. I’m nice like that. But c’mon, SCARY?! And so what if it looked like dog food that could crawl off your plate at any moment? It still tasted good – and he loves the stuff. Well, the meatloaf crack was the straw that broke this camel’s back. I burst into tears and screamed at him to go to his room and never come out. I calmly told him to go upstairs and think about his actions. Two seconds later, he came flying down the stairs.

“You guys!! You guys!! You have to come see this!! It’s a rainbow!!”

Well, who could say no to enthusiasm like that. So we all ran outside and sure enough…rainbow. Actually, it was a double rainbow. And even though you can’t tell in the picture, it was a whole double rainbow – you could clearly see the beginning and the end. I’d like to say the remainder of the evening was as lovely, but it wasn’t. Whatever. We had a couple good minutes there. I”ll take what I can get!

This post is brought to you by Leigh vs. Laundry’s lovely Happiness Project. Come join the fun!